Things to not say to a pregnant woman

The way in which we talk to and about pregnant women (and their husbands/boyfriends) is a little bizarre as far as I’m concerned.

Just yesterday, we met with our midwife who made a good point that there comes a point in a woman’s pregnancy where she is now undeniably pregnant (maybe at 5 or 6 months in) where people feel her body is now an acceptable conversation piece.

Aside from just being plain awkward, there are certain things which make the expectant mother feel bad. This is by no means exhaustive, but it’s just some of the things that we’ve experienced over the past 2 years that have caused irritation:

  • “When is that baby coming?” – used often in the latter stages of pregnancy, particularly so if you’re at or past your due date because, you know, God forbid your baby comes a second later than the arbitrarily chosen guess of when they may arrive. Your guess is as good as mine.
  • “Woah!” – your emphatic surprise at the shape of a heavily pregnant woman is not helpful, especially when she probably already feels enormous and doesn’t need help feeling that way.
  • “Are you sure there’s not two in there?” – yes, fuckwit. Ultrasound is a fairly advanced technology now and even without that, you can feel the baby from the outside (and the mother from the inside). Your implication that she’s so enormous that she must be harbouring a second baby is massively offensive.
  • “You’re huge/enormous/gigantic/massive/gargantuan/etc.” – ’nuff said.

Just remember that pregnant women are emotional, unpredictable and self-conscious. Instead of your silly comments, try encouraging them (“You look beautiful today.”) or helping them out (“Can I get anything for you at the store?”). If you insist on using the phrases above or others like them, expect the kind of wrath that you may have never experienced before.

By Dave

Dave is the proud father of Ellie and Jack. There's nothing that makes him happier than spending time with his incredible wife and their amazing children. He's a civil/mechanical engineer and he also builds and maintains WordPress websites.

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